Connected
Just before falling asleep each night, I read for a few minutes until I am just sleepy enough to fall asleep quickly. I recently began reading a well-known book which is also a movie – “Eat Pray Love” by Elizabeth Gilbert. If you have never read the book or seen the movie, it is a true story about the journey of a young woman to find herself through living in Italy, India, and Indonesia.
Early on she finds herself in a battle with two old friends she has named Depression and Loneliness. She has stopped taking her meds and is quickly affected. She ultimately turns to God and finds herself writing the following words spoken to her by God:
“I’m here. I love you. I don’t care if you need to stay up crying all night long. I will stay with you. If you need the medication again, go ahead and take it – I will love you through that, as well. If you don’t need the medication I will love you, too. There’s nothing you can ever do to lose my love. I will protect you until you die, and after your death I will still protect you. I am stronger than Depression and braver than Loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me.”
I teared up at these words and wondered why I have never been spoken such meaningful words directly from God such that I would write the message in my journal. I almost envied her and her direct and personal connection with God.
As I finished the chapter and turned off the light, I prayed, asking God if I was missing something. Even though every piece of the author’s paragraph I knew to be true of God and completely trusted in Him, I could not help but wonder why I had never “heard” from God in quite this same way.
The following morning I recalled these thoughts in passing and moved on with my day. Later in the afternoon noticed I had a new text on Messenger. I open the app and I was pleasantly surprised to see a friend from high school with whom I occasionally connected had sent me a message. I smiled and decided to read it later when I had more time. Finally in the evening I opened the message and this is what I read:
“I just wanted to let you know that I dreamt about you last night. I don’t remember the dream, but we were somewhere doing something and visiting! I think we were about to catch up more and we ran out of time. 💕 But you were sharing how blessed you were with your life. And I can see that is true in real life!”
I read it again. I responded thanking her for the message and agreeing that yes indeed I was truly blessed and I loved how God speaks.
I finally understood I was not missing anything. My relationship with God was not incomplete, it was just different than the author of the book. What I now hear Him saying to me is He meets us all where we need to be meet in exactly the way that is perfect for each us.
JW